I've learnt to live half alive. Gin. 17. Finding inspiration and appreciating life. I like drawing, writing, painting, dancing, photography, music and sports. Tumblr Twitter Facebook Instagram |
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Saturday, July 20, 2013 @ 9:34 PM “而学不会的，也许是你坚持或最难割舍的那些” I don't know if you'll ever see this, but I hope you don't. It's been 1.5 years since I made the decision, and 3 years since it all started. And 2 years since it hurt the most. I thought the pain had vanished forever and the wound had healed, but when I broke down during Math lecture last Thursday I knew it didn't. Guess what? It only took one second of your laughter to kill me. Because I was reminded that whenever you laughed, it was never because of me. "想起你的微笑 这画面短暂纪念" Afterwards, you came to ask me if I was okay, but what I could say? That it was because of your laughter? That memories which I had suppressed for 1.5 years suddenly came rushing back at the most inopportune time? I couldn't even look at you in the eye when I said that I was okay hahaha I'm such a pathetic person. I wonder what went through your mind then. Did you think I was crying because I was stressed over school work? "最后，我给你的生日愿望，是把我忘记。" You said that to me on my birthday in 2010. I was in Beijing then, you were in Singapore. I remember you were the last person I talked to before I left my house for the airport. I remember going online on MSN whenever I had the chance in Beijing to see if you were online. I remember emailing you heartfelt words but masking them with loads of exclamation marks to make all my words seem less serious. As if I was saying them out of fun. I wonder what went through your mind then. Did you take my words to heart? That was the last birthday wish you ever said to me. On my birthday in 2011, we weren't talking already. On my birthday in 2012, I waited for your text but it never came. It's strange how every year I'll spend the most time and effort making your present. This year's the last one, I promise. I know I'll never be a priority of yours, but you'll always be mine. "越近的事情越容易忘记，越久以前的事情越是记得" I'll never forget. |
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